A Birth Story.

*PLEASE NOTE: I go into quite a bit of detail and there are a few pictures with blood in them.  Every woman has a different experience with her labor, this is just the story of my own personal journey. I think it's really important to share, even though no one can prepare you for the hardest work-out (physically and mentally) you'll ever go through, it's reassuring to know if someone else out there may have had a similar voyage. We are not alone!

I don't even really know how to begin telling about the birth of our beautiful boy. When was the beginning? When I got pregnant? The date I was due? When labor began? When we saw him for the first time?  Since I've already shared some about my pregnancy, I guess I will start at the end of February. (I will refer to the baby as "he", even though we didn't know this at the time).

My last day at work was February 24th.  It was so strange leaving the office, knowing that I wouldn't be back as a medical assistant again. I was almost 39 weeks prego and had been hoping for about 3 weeks already that I would go into labor early. I felt ready. Not in the sense that I knew what I was getting into, but I just felt ready to finally meet this little one.

God was about to test my patience.

I tried to keep myself busy now that I wasn't working, and Bill and I got to spend quite a bit of time together, his paternity leave started on my due date.  The days went by and pretty soon my due date came...March 4th....and went. Every night when I went to bed I thought "This is it, this could be the night", and every morning I woke up disappointed and discouraged. My midwife asked a few times if I wanted to be checked for dilation, but I said no. I thought "baby has to come sometime and that would just mess with my mind!" 

Sunday, March 4th, 40 weeks

Going past my due date was really hard for me mentally and emotionally, though I'm sure my hormones didn't help.  Among many things I felt that my body was letting me down, that eventually they would have to just take him out and I wouldn't get the birth that I had been conjuring up in my mind for the past 10 months. I became a hermit, shutting myself in and others out. I was so tired of being asking why I was still pregnant, people giving opinions and suggestions.  I know everyone just wanted to help and show they cared but I couldn't handle it. I was tired, frustrated, mad, worried, anxious, and ready for a change.

Week 40 left without any signs of labor.  I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for months and they were still happening but not anymore intense than usual. I was about one centimeter dilated, fully effaced and my cervix was really soft. Just a waiting game. Every night hoping, and every morning crying.

Week 41- March 11th.. I couldn't believe it hadn't happened yet.

Monday, March 12th- 3cm dilated. Since I was a week past my date my midwife Catherine did a non-stress test on me. I lay down and they put two sensors on me, one to record his heart beat and the other to monitor any contractions.  They want to see fluctuations in his heart rate, to make sure that he was doing okay because my placenta would slowly be functioning less like it's suppose to and the amniotic fluid would be decreasing. It took about an hour and a bowlful of jelly beans to get him to do what she wanted.  We were there during his sleepy time so she had to jostle him around and get sugar in me to rouse him.  Then she swept my membranes (sticks a finger through my cervix and sweeps it around by the sac to stimulate progesterone which can induce labor), it was uncomfortable but didn't hurt.  Told me I would feel some cramping and labor could start in 6-8 hours. Had the cramping but then nothing. I noticed my Braxton contractions seemed more frequent, but they didn't feel any different. 

Tuesday, March 13th- I went and saw an acupuncturist as well. I was willing to try anything.  She gave me Chinese herbs to drink, and as gross as it tasted, I drank it. I felt so desperate. While I was at the appointment I had to go to the bathroom and there was a huge glob, mucus like, bloody. My mucus plug! I was so excited. This was it! It had to be...

Forcing a smile as I drink my tea.

Wednesday March 14th- Back to Catherine, no increase in dilation.  Another stress test to make sure he was still active, again during his sleep time so it took a while. She did another sweep, and this time added some synthetic progesterone up there to get things going. This was sure to work.  Acupuncture again. Went to bed optimistic...and I'm sure you know how I woke up....pregnant.

Was it EVER going to happen??? I was already 10 days over. I knew that anything up to 42 weeks was still considered normal, but there was no reasoning with me.

Thursday March 15th- We went to have an ultrasound done to make sure he was still doing ok, so much monitoring at this point because of the decreasing function of his living conditions.  She measured fluid and checked a few other things that I can't remember.  One neat thing was she looked for breathing motions and he had to do them straight for 20 seconds to pass.  It took him quite a while, but he did it!  She didn't even look at his privates, so there was no way she was going to slip up and tell us he was a he, thank goodness!

Friday March 16th- Had a home visit with Catherine. She checked me....5 cm! Five!!! So my body wasn't betraying me, it was working on things, just without me feeling it.  I was so excited to hear this. I felt even better when I saw how calm and not worried Catherine was about the whole thing. She said that the only thing that needed to happen was for my water to break.  My cervix was completely ready, it had been for almost two weeks already. She gave me the option of her breaking my water that night or the next day.  Seeing how confident she was I decided I could wait one more night.  My mom was staying with us already, she couldn't stay away anymore. We went to bed around 11:30pm.

Saturday March 17th-St. Patrick's Day- I woke up at 12:10am to pee, as I sat up I felt a flow of fluid.  I thought I peed on myself. I hobbled to the bathroom. I yelled at Bill "Get the paper! Bill go get the paper!", he groggily replys "What?? What paper?" "Get the paper! The fluid paper!". There is special little pieces of paper that will turn dark blue if it's exposed to amniotic fluid.  IT TURNED BLUE!!!! I couldn't believe it. I could NOT believe it. 13 days after my due date.

**Birthing Fact- even though in the movies most womans labor begins with their water breaking this is true only in about 10% of expecting mothers. Usually it happens after she's already been in labor, and sometimes not until she's pushing the baby out.**

Mom was up in a flash, called my sister Melina to come join us.  I called Catherine right away. My contractions started within five minutes of the water breaking. It pretty much just felt like cramps.  We started timing them, 30-60 seconds long with a couple minutes between.  They started picking up with intensity and coming closer together.  She had warned me that when my water broke there wouldn't be much of a lead into labor, since I was already 5cm.  She was right.  It wasn't long before I couldn't walk during the contractions anymore.  I tried distracting myself, getting things out and ready. Bill lit tiki torches outside so everyone coming would be welcomed with flames. Melina was the first to arrive, then the other midwife Regina, nurse assistant Carissa and student Andrea.

Bills handy work, follow the lights!

One of the biggest helps to me was my music.  Most births have soothing music, they were saying that Nora Jones is one of the most popular choices. I needed something up beat, something to rock-out to, to sway to. My brother had made me a CD of random songs and I listed to that on my iPhone. They suggested I put it on the loud speaker (where they had soothing music playing), but I really found it helped better directly in my ears, filling my head and blocking out everything else.  I couldn't handle sitting during a contraction, I needed to be up, supported by Bill, lower back rubbed by Melina, swaying and signing to the music.  

The contractions were so intense, they were getting much longer, up to about 4 minutes long.  The build-up to the peak of the contractions were short, so it was like I had no warning it was coming on, and then just as it was subsiding it would go back up again. Torture!! The rests in between contractions is the only thing that can keep a woman going.

At 38 weeks I tested positive for Group B Strep, which is a bacterial infection in the vagina that doesn't effect the mother but can be harmful to the baby during delivery.  I needed to be on IV antibiotics to reduce the risk of the baby contracting it. Bill really wanted to place my IV, so I let him!!

I tried the pool for a short time, maybe 30 minutes.  It felt really good to be buoyant, but I felt like I couldn't move in the way I needed to through the contractions.

Mom helping me through a contraction in the tub.

I was pretty vocal through contractions, counting to 100, then back to 0 by 2's, then up by 3's. Saying things like "This is SO PAINFUL!! No...no this is good... the pain is good", really just trying to distract myself and keep myself positive.

The first four hours seemed to fly by. How long was this going to take? When was I going to meet this little one? Andrea would check his heart beat about every half hour and during a contraction to see how he was handling them.

Maybe at about 6am Regina checked me and I was 7-8cm. I was thrilled! It was hard, hard work. I was starting to feel the urge to push, and they told me to obey my body. Now that was uncomfortable. Standing and pushing, like I was going to poop on the floor, but I knew nothing was coming out so there was no relief with it. It did not feel good.

Finally at about 8am they got me set-up to start really pushing.  They set Bill on a chair and I was squatting infront of him, resting my arms on his legs.  My helpers were all in front of me. I would bare down, push, push, push, catch my breath and do it again.  Then between contractions I would hoist myself up to Bills lap. Some woman really enjoy pushing, because they feel like they are actually doing something. I hated it. It was the worst part for me.  I was so exhausted and this was when I needed all the strength I could get.  With every push the ladies would say "That's it! That's great!" It was as if he would pop out anytime, but I was still a ways off.  This went on, and on, and on. Bill was amazing with me, with every push he would chant to me, telling me how to push, it was exactly what I needed.  Your mind gets weird, with the fatigue and everything happening. I actually would drift off to sleep between contractions, it was weird. I was so, so tired. I wanted it to be over, but it went on. Squat, push, pain, up to Bills lap, rest, squat, push........

Resting together, Bill was working hard with me the whole time.

Andrea and Regina just waiting for him to come!

Bill keeping me cool during the hardest part.

It got really  uncomfortable and painful when he was almost out, it was hard to get up and rest, this huge mass just hanging out in my pelvis. Ugh. She had me reach down and feel the top of his head once.   Strangly between contractions when I was resting I felt like I had control over the contractions. Like if I wanted another one to come I would just need to squat, so sometimes I would just wait and the contraction would wait too. It was weird. Melina placed my music next to me so I could hear it but hear everyone telling me what to do too.

FINALLY two and half hours later, he came out.  I didn't realize he was going to come out on that push, so I was a little shocked. Regina scooped him up and started wiping him with a towel, Carissa listening to his heart. Both of my feet were numb so they had to help me sit. So I sat down and just stared at him. Some women want to scoop up their babies right away, that was not me. I just sat there.  We all knew it was a boy before she showed us the proof, he just looked the part!

Right after he came out.

He's cleaned up a bit, nice head!

It felt like a while before she said I should take him. I was just so, so, so exhausted and could not believe what had just taken place. I didn't hold him for very long, I had some bleeding and they wanted to get my placenta out and get me in bed.  The cord broke off where it was connected to the placenta so I had to lay down and she stuck her hand up there to grab onto it as I pushed.

They helped me to bed, I was so weak and felt faint. I caught a glimpse in the mirror and I looked terrible. White as a sheet.  They gave me a shot of Pitocin in my leg to help my uterus contract to stop the bleeding and also massaged it (my uterus, not my leg). Then hooked up a liter of fluid to my IV and brought me some food. I have never felt that awful in my life. My body was done, it had totally checked out.  They brought in my baby and had him breast feed for the first time. I could hardly keep my eyes open. 

Think I look bad? I felt even worse. :)

Trying to admire our little one.

Next was the newborn exam.  Everyone gathered in our bedroom. Carissa said by the looks of him (his ears especially) he definitely was a 42 week old baby.

He's getting so much attention.

Those mature ears!

 Getting weighed.

 Getting a full body check.

Footprint time!

Emmett Joseph Schueler

8 lb. 6 oz.

18 1/2 in. long

13 in. head
March 17th, 2012 10:35am

After he was done it was my turn.  They gave him to my mom and Bill sat by me as she checked out the damage.  I had second degree tearing in about three spots, which she would have to stitch. Now that was painful.  The shot to numb the areas hurt so bad, I was squeezing Bills hand and screaming. Aside from the bad time I was having, I look back and laugh at how funny it was because Regina had a headlamp on, getting all up in my business with her tools, you've got to see the humor in that!

Bill helped me to the shower, I was so weak and faint, each step was a shuffle, an inch at a time. When I was up I would start to shake, shivering uncontrollably.  The mixture of trauma, adrenalin, blood loss, a 10 1/2 hour work out, and hormones.

I was so wasted I couldn't even think straight. Everyone left me alone and I tried to sleep, but I couldn't stop thinking about the last 10 1/2 hours and how intense, bazaar, and hard they were. I know some women can not be separated from their babies right after birth, but I didn't feel that need yet, I was just too out of it.  I learned in birth class that this feeling is very common and normal, so I wasn't worried about it.

EVERY ONE GETTING THEIR FIRST TIME WITH EMMETT

 Daddy.

Grandma Alice.

Auntie Melina.

Grandpa Rick.

Uncle Nick.

When it was all said and done my first thought was "I am NEVER doing that again!!!". It was the hardest thing I have every had to do, but I did have the amazement that I just did it! Pretty incredible. I know the feeling of never wanting to go through that again will eventually pass and one day I will find myself pregnant again and filled with joy and excitement. It won't be for a while, but that's okay because right now all we want to do is enjoy our little lucky charm :)

I'll give you one guess who he looks like :)

**A huge thanks to my mom and sister, you gals really helped make our experience complete.  Thanks for all the work you did, for me, Bill, and of course Emmett.**

**My husband was the most amazing rock during the whole labor and delivery.  I couldn't believe how attentive and caring he was. I always knew he was like that but he proved it a hundred fold when I needed him the most. It was still hard with him, but would have been impossible without him. I love you!**